Winston had gotten the idea of renting
a room from the old shopkeeper he had bought his diary and the glass
paperweight from, and he ran the idea past Julia, whom had no
objection to it. So he did so and they now had a place where they
could meet, even if it was a bigger risk, they both saw it as a home,
as a sanctuary from the outside world. A place where they could lay
back and enjoy each others company, talk freely and feel safe while
doing it.
“Both
of them knew — in a way, it was never out of their minds — that
what was now happening could not last long. There were times when the
fact of impending death seemed as palpable as the bed they lay on,
and they would cling together with a sort of despairing sensuality,
like a damned soul grasping at his last morsel of pleasure when the
clock is within five minutes of striking. But there were also times
when they had the illusion not only of safety but of permanence. So
long as they were actually in this room, they both felt, no harm
could come to them. Getting there was difficult and dangerous, but
the room itself was sanctuary.
“
Winston tried to talk more deeply about
the party and its doings with Julia, but she was rather uninterested
in it all. She hated the party and everything it stood for, but had
no real interest of a deeper philosophical understanding of its
doings, and why it was wrong.
“One
knew it was all rubbish , so why let oneself be worried by it? She
knew when to cheer and when to boo, and that was all that one needed.
If he persisted in talking of such subjects, she had a disconcerting
habit of falling asleep.”
““You're
only a rebel from the waist downwards” he told her.
She
thought this brilliantly witty and flung her arms around him in
delight.”
“In
a way, the world-view of the Party imposed itself most successfully
on people incapable of understanding it. They could be made to accept
the most flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully
grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not
sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was
happening. By lack of understanding they remained sane. They simply
swallowed everything, and what they swallowed did them no harm,
because it left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass
undigested through the body of a bird. “
One
day at work Winston had a run in with O'Brien, a inner party member.
O'Brien had initiated a conversation with Winston about some articles
Winston had rewritten in new-speak in some old newspapers. He had
taken a notice to the way Winston was rather good at such tasks and
offered him to lend the newest edition of new-speak dictionary. The
way O'Brien said things made Winston think that this was “it”. He
thought that O'Brien was part of a underground resistance or some
such, or that through him he would get in contact with it. O'Brien
had put down his living address down to paper for Winston to swing by
and borrow the dictionary.
“Again
Winston's heart stirred painfully. It was inconceivable that this was
anything other than a reference to Syme. But Syme was not only dead,
he was abolished, an unperson.
Any
identifiable reference to him would have been mortally dangerous.
O'Brien's remark must obviously have been intended as a signal, a
code word. By sharing a small act of thoughtcrime he had turned the
two of them into accomplices.”
Waking
up with eyes full of tears from a nap, Winston had a dream that lead
him to think about the last time he remembers seeing his mother and
sister. Things were bad when Winston was a child. The country torn by
war and starvation. He remembers the way his mother was after his
father had left and his selfish outbursts, and what transpired
between him and his mother and sister before they disappeared. The
way his mother was, cold and distant, but still naturally and
instinctively caring for the children. He felt that the party had
killed off that part of humanity, but he got an epiphany that the
proles still had that.
“The
proles, it suddenly occurred to him, had remained in this condition.
They were not loyal to a party or a country or an idea, they were
loyal to one another. For the first time in his life he did not
despise the proles or think of them merely as an inert force which
would one day spring to life and regenerate the world. The proles had
stayed human. They had not become hardened inside. They had held on
to the primitive emotions which he himself had to relearn by
conscious effort.”
Winston
shared this with Julia and they talked about how even when they get
taken by the thought-police, they can make you say anything through
torture and make them confess and give up each other, but they can't
remove or change their feelings towards each other.
“Facts,
at any rate, could not be kept hidden. They could be tracked down by
inquiry, they could be squeezed out of you by torture. But if the
object was not to stay alive but to stay human, what difference did
it ultimately make? They could not alter your feelings: for that
matter you could not alter them yourself, even if you wanted to. They
could lay bare in the utmost detail everything that you had done or
said or thought; but the inner heart, whose workings were mysterious
even to yourself, remained impregnable.”
Assignment:
I
remember seeing the movie the book she is reading is based on, thus
commenting.
First
victim of my pointless and “try-hard” humorous commenting.
Victim
number two.
Muslin
= [bomulls]lärft
Contralto
= alt; altstämma, kontraalt; kontraaltstämma.
Driveling
= dilla, dravla, prata smörja.
Frock
= [lätt vardags]klänning.
Wainscot
= panel[ning], boasering, brädfodring.
Prompt
= snabb, snar, omgående.
Embellish
= försköna, utsira, pryda.
Febrile
= feber-; feberaktig.
Perilous
= farlig, vådlig, riskabel.
Exhortation
= maning, uppmaning, uppmuntran; pådrivande tal.
Acrid
= bitter, skarp; kärv.
Indignation
= indignation, harm, förtryelse.
Morsel
= munsbit; bit, smula; stycke, läckerhet.
Acute
= spetsig, skarp, genomträngande.
Impudent
= oförskämd, fräck, oblyg.
Tended
= välskött, välvårdad.
Superfluous
= överflödig, onödig.
Simian
= ap-; [människo]apliknande.
Statuesque
= statylik, statuarisk; ståtlig.
Sordid
= smutsig, eländig.
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